Confederate Chipmunks & Carny Cooter (The Cobblepotts Book 1), by Bill Jacks
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Confederate Chipmunks & Carny Cooter (The Cobblepotts Book 1), by Bill Jacks
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Do you crave unoffending fiction? A wholesome snack that's low in friction? If so, inside you'll find the words A greasy feast of tasteless turds But those for crass and bawdy wit Will savor every bite of shit! Welcome to Possum Holler, Mississippi, where critters are served on a stick… and might be related to whatever’s been getting in your trash bin. Home of the chaw chewin, stank walkin, pill swillin, leg missin, finger in a belly, punch you in the damn mouth cuz I done TOLD you bout BREATHIN when i’m WATCHIN THE WRASLIN…Cobblepotts: the most delightful redneck couple you’d never invite over for supper. Meet Patty Cobblepott: a certified Yak of a woman. Fueled on potted meat and Mountain Dew, she’ll roll her breasts up and push a Plymouth clear to the freeway, with the E-brake on, and then make balloon animals out of rebar. Her softness of brain is equally mighty; Patty meets all legal requirements for retardation. Meet Otis Cobblepott: a well-bearded, Southern sociopath, more than willing to step on man, woman, or child—preferably woman or child—to pursue a sudden flight of fancy. He’s slightly smarter than Patty, but slightly dumber than a Guinea Pig. He enjoys critter documentaries, lawn mower racing, sturdy women, and getting one over on Patty. Tag along as the Cobblepotts redefine absurdity and turn simple misunderstandings into barn burning blowouts. Can the world survive such an outrageous pair? Can they even survive each other? Peel back the many, ridiculous layers of this hillbilly onion; you may be disturbed to find that--at the core--the Cobblepotts are a lot like you. Southern rooted, pants poopingly hilarious, more clever than your mom, riddled with the best limericks of your life, obscene at times, violent at others, dark and cynical throughout; it’s really kind of a romantic comedy, if that’s possible. It either curb stomps the entire idea of relationships, or offers observations as a bit of hope; you'll have to decide which. One thing's for sure; it's not for the faint of heart. So put grandma to bed, crate your children, and open wide for a whole mess of unfiltered ignorance.
Confederate Chipmunks & Carny Cooter (The Cobblepotts Book 1), by Bill Jacks- Amazon Sales Rank: #990329 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-06-10
- Released on: 2015-06-10
- Format: Kindle eBook
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Hilarious entertainment to cry over By A Customer Bill Jacks hits a home run with this short about two true rebels in Patty and Otis Cobblepott. Bred like two wolverines mating in a burlap sack, their southern antics will raise the hackles on any who meet them. Jacks has the gift for descriptive characters, entertaining you with the life story of two people who would run over a pedestrian and only stop to make sure they weren't stuck in the grille of their hoopty. If you don't laugh over their choice of pets, television viewing, how this pair met...you need an enema. Laugh out loud funny in a completely inappropriate way. I wouldn't let my kids read it, but I've read it out loud to several friends who laughed so hard they cried. Hurray for the insanity!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. The title makes me giggle! By ArtGirl1215 After seeing this book several times, I knew I had to read it, and I’m glad I did. If you are a person who is offended easily, this book is NOT for you. But if you know how to take a joke, and can appreciate it for what it is, then you will love Bill Jacks’ hilarious short story.The Cobblepotts prove that there is, indeed someone for everyone. They are lovable (from a distance, thank you) in their willful ignorance and frightening stupidity. It’s like watching a train wreck. You can’t not look at the travesty playing out before your eyes.The writing flows naturally in a stream of conscious style, and is crafted to near perfection. I particularly enjoyed the tongue in cheek poetry.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. A good laugh out loud story By Darrell B Nelson This rambling stream of consciousness story works well. It reminds me of a Mark Twain short story, the title I can't remember, where a man asks a famous person in town about something leading to a tale of everything but what he asked.This tale of a strange relationship had me giggling out loud the entire time I was reading it. The free flowing chain of memories was tied together with a voice that made the absurd seem normal, therefore even more funny.This tale told mainly by the semi-literate Patty Cobblepott was an absolute breeze to read. Even for those of us who aren't fluent in redneck. If you want a good laugh out loud story, you can't go wrong with this one.
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