Searching for Always, by Jennifer Probst
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Searching for Always, by Jennifer Probst
PDF Ebook Online Searching for Always, by Jennifer Probst
New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Jennifer Probst sparks a blissful mind-body connection as her “sexy, satisfying” (Kirkus Reviews) new series continues!She’s an expert in helping others de-stress, but Arilyn Meadows is running on fumes. Along with her job counseling singles seeking soul mates at the Kinnections agency in Verily, New York, she’s a yoga teacher, animal shelter volunteer, anger management therapist, and helping hand to her beloved grandfather. No time to find Mr. Right—but after discovering her yogi boyfriend in a compromising asana, Arilyn would rather dog-sit for her honeymooning friend Kate than risk her heart on another downward dog. And when police officer Stone Petty—radiating masculinity and bad-boy attitude—is sent to her for mandatory lessons in cooling off when the job gets too hot, Arilyn vows to ignore his seductive glances and sexy grin. But there’s no halting their sizzling flirtation—a red-hot, high-speed chase that’s breaking all the limits.
Searching for Always, by Jennifer Probst - Amazon Sales Rank: #658783 in Books
- Brand: Probst, Jennifer
- Published on: 2015-06-30
- Released on: 2015-06-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.75" h x 1.00" w x 4.13" l, .44 pounds
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
- 400 pages
Searching for Always, by Jennifer Probst Review “For a sexy, fun-filled, warm-hearted read, look no further than Jennifer Probst!” (Jill Shalvis, New York Times Bestselling author)"This series continues to be one to talk about and recommend to your friends!" (RT Book Reviews, Top Pick)"I’m in love with the Kinnection team and the city of Verily!" (The Review Loft)
About the Author Jennifer Probst’s novels, novellas, and ebooks range from sexy contemporary romance to erotica. She lives in upstate New York. For more about this multitalented New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author, visit JenniferProbst.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Searching for Always one ARILYN MEADOWS LOOKED around the cheery bungalow that was now her new home. Boxes lay half-opened, clothes were stacked in piles, and her foster dogs, Lenny and Mike, were battling over her only pair of expensive shoes. Scarlet red. High heels. Strappy. She’d bought them last month to surprise her lover. He’d been surprised all right. So had she when she caught him banging one of his yoga students. The black-and-white rat terrier mixes tumbled over the floor in a challenge to see who’d make the first bite. With their floppy ears and white stripes dividing their faces, her new fosters were a bit too cute to live. They also got away with way too much because of their looks. She opened her mouth to discipline, then shut it. Yes, it was bad for the puppies’ training, but it felt kind of good to see them tear those heels apart. She’d never wear them again without that memory clocking her like a sucker punch. At least Lenny and Mike could have some rebellious fun. The low hum of anger buzzing inside surprised her. She’d spent most of her days searching for peace, kindness, and harmony within the world. Last week, she would’ve announced to anyone she’d found that quiet place inside and had never been happier. Not this week. Arilyn held back a sigh and began hanging her clothes up. Organic cottons and linens wrinkled too easily, especially with no dryer. She smoothed her hand down the soft fabrics and lined them up neatly in the closet. At least her new place was sound. After discovering mold at her last rental, and weeks of dealing with bad electric and burst pipes, her friend Genevieve MacKenzie offered to let her rent the quirky bungalow. Thank goodness, Gen had found the love of her life and was now moving in with her soul mate, Wolfe. Even better, she had left an empty cottage to rent. It was situated close to her job, and two doors down from her other friend Kate, who she worked with at Kinnections matchmaking agency. She tried to concentrate on the positive spin of finding a great place, especially one that allowed her to take in foster dogs on a regular basis, but her usual attitude had taken a hit. Besides anger, depression threatened like a nasty rumble of thunder before a storm. Dammit, she was supposed to be in Cape May on a romantic getaway. She was supposed to be making love and finally working through the kinks in their relationship. She was supposed to hear those magic words after five years of an on-again, off-again affair. You’re the one. Marriage. Maybe a family. Both of them teaching yoga together in his studio, on a quest for higher peace and satisfaction while they loved each other with open hearts and souls. Her fingers clenched around the gauzy cream blouse. Instead, she’d walked into that studio and watched her life crumble before her. The woman bent over, hands on the floor, naked ass in the air. Her lover pounded her from behind, his long gorgeous dark hair streaming down his back, fingers gripped around her hips, driving in and out of her while she moaned and groaned, and he gave tiny grunts of satisfaction. The woman screamed. He laughed darkly, lifted his hand, and smacked her naked ass. She yelped. Then he did it again, and again, until her rear turned red and she was coming and screaming . . . Arilyn turned from the closet and pushed her clenched fists against her eyes. The image burned like acid. He’d never made love to her that way, with a violent, dirty need combined with lust. He practiced tantric sex, a slow-moving, spiritual, gentle swell of need that climbed gradually. Their lovemaking took place in many locations, but it was always completely controlled, quiet, deeply satisfying. He worshipped her body with his. Never bent it to his will or ripped crazy orgasms from her. She’d never forget his face. So deeply satisfied, like he was surrendering in a way he never could with her. Was this what he’d wanted the whole time? Had he believed she couldn’t handle his sexual desires? The almost violent, possessive, hungry primal instincts inside him? Fighting a shudder, she began to unpack her crystals and meditation supplies. How long had she made excuses for his inability to truly commit to her? Yes, he revered his privacy and followed a spiritual path without conventions, societal role plays, and sexual expectations. That was what she’d loved about him. They viewed the world similarly and wanted to make a difference. He was a workaholic, but in a good way. Always driven to help others in their journey. Another reason he was afraid to commit to a long-term relationship. He feared she’d become demanding and force him to quit his beloved career. But after years of being hidden in the background, while he refused to meet her friends or family, and conducted their affair after hours and in secret like a torrid affair, she’d finally given him the ultimatum. The idea that no one ever uttered his first name faded from being a thrilling secret to a quiet humiliation. Thirty approached. She craved permanence and a chance to have a family. Was that too much to ask? She didn’t want to pigeonhole him, only to grow and change by his side. After his first indiscretion, she forced herself to trust him again. After all, he apologized, confessing his fear that love would overpower his spiritual path. He promised never to cheat again. As the in-house counselor at Kinnections matchmaking agency, Arilyn advised clients many times that a relationship couldn’t work halfway, so she forgave. Things finally changed. They’d been happy for a few months, and he even agreed to meet her family. Humiliation cut through her. The fire crystal shook in her hands. She breathed deep and tried to absorb the healing powers meant to relieve sharp anxiety and induce calm. Stupid. His face when she opened the door haunted her. Those gorgeous dark eyes widened with shock. Her gaze swept over his beloved face, taking in the high brow bone, long, sharp nose, square jaw. He stared at her, not moving, not speaking, while the silence beat around them in angry waves of energy. “Arilyn.” Her name on his lips made her shudder. The musical, lilting quality of his timbre usually hypnotized her, whether in yoga class or the bedroom. The hurt rolled over her in waves, and she longed to curl up in a ball in her bed and try to make sense of it. Instead, she just stood there like an idiot, waiting for him to say something. “I’m sorry, Arilyn.” His voice deepened with grief and regret. His eyes filled with sadness. “I broke my promise. My body is weak, but my heart still beats for you. It always will. You must find a way to forgive me.” No. For the rest of her life, she’d remember him grunting and coming in another woman’s body. And for the first time in five years, the box deep inside of her finally locked. She’d never let him back into her heart or life again. She’d closed the box many, many times before, but never locked it. A tiny click echoed in her ears like a gunshot. It was finally over. Her heart withered in her chest, drying up any tears that she might have shed. All that was left was a shell and a burning emptiness she’d never get over. Arilyn studied the man she’d loved for the last time. Her voice came out like a winter’s storm. Cold. Brutal. Dead. “It’s over. Don’t call, text, or contact me ever again.” Arilyn placed an amethyst stone next to the fire and began setting up her meditation corner. Lenny and Mike collapsed on the wooden floor, temporarily exhausted and exhilarated. Pieces of red straps and a chewed heel lay around them in destructive glory. She envied them. Her emotions bubbled beneath the surface worse than a witches’ brew. Maybe a grueling session of ashtanga yoga would help her sweat out some of the mess. Arilyn studied the crystals before her and plucked the dark red stone from its perch. Definitely garnet. Used for balancing overemotional stakes and stuck anger. She twisted it onto a cord and slipped it over her neck. Maybe work was the key. Keep busy. Two weeks had passed for a solid grieving period, and now it was time to focus. She needed to get the cottage in order, plant her herb garden, run the dog shelter fund-raiser, and work on the new computer program for Kinnections. Since she quit her ex-lover’s yoga studio, students had been asking her when she’d be teaching on her own. Maybe she’d rent the firehouse and give classes there. No reason for her own students to suffer just because she refused to set foot in the Chakras yoga studio. She placed the fat purple cushion in the center of the woven mat and set up the variety of candles around her spot. Two wide bamboo screens kept it private from onlookers and the pups. The incense sticks went up on the circular table, since Lenny seemed to like them better than the organic treats she regularly purchased. Nothing like pooping out incense. That had been a fun vet visit. Finally, her sacred spot was complete. Her stack of meditation CDs lay next to her ancient stereo, but she disliked wearing pods or headphones when she meditated. Arilyn rolled to her feet and grabbed some matches and the bunch of dried sage she’d brought with her. Final task before making dinner. Each time she set up residence in a new place, she cleared all the old energy to start fresh. God knows she needed a new slate. Her throat tightened as she began to light the sage. All of her best friends were now in strong, healthy relationships leading to marriage. As the final single of the bunch, her heart squeezed with envy. When was it her turn? She’d worked so hard in all aspects of her life to be a good person, to open herself to love, to become spiritually sound to engage in a relationship that would bring her joy. Dammit, while others squandered their time partying, being selfish, and giving in to their ids, she did the hard work trying to transform herself. She did everything . . . right. Right? Guess not. She’d wasted the best years of her life stuck with a man who consistently lied and manipulated in the name of soul-searching. How could she have been so far off with her instincts? Was she just a chump after all? Was she even worthy of the kind of love she dreamed of, the kind that her friends had found? She blinked furiously to clear her vision. Stop. She was being whiny and ridiculous. She had a great, satisfying life filled with goals and surrounded by plenty of people who loved her. Arilyn lifted the bunch of sage in the air, closed her eyes, and envisioned a home filled with love, peace, and light. The smoke trickled in thin wisps as she moved from room to room, including the closet and bathroom, paying particular attention to the bedroom and kitchen where most intense emotions were expressed. Finally, the cottage was properly cleansed. She blew out the flame, moved the small pots containing her herbs to the windowsill for proper light, and grabbed the bottle of celebratory wine in the refrigerator. She deserved alcohol tonight. It would go nicely with her veggie burger and steamed edamame. First, she’d complete her asanas, do some pranayama, and then eat. Tomorrow, things would look better and she’d feel stronger. Peaceful. Back in control. Arilyn was sure of it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful. Loved how Stone learned to love! By V. Rundell of V's Reads This is the 4th book in a series, but able to be enjoyed as a standalone.4.5 Stars.Arilynn is a vegetarian, holistic, dog-fostering, yoga-teaching counselor who works with her college friends, Kennedy and Kate at a computer-matching service, Kinnections, in rural Verily, NY. her only remaining family is her grandfather--her parents died via lung cancer and suicide in the past ten years. Having witnessed her parents' illness, she has dedicated her life to living the healthiest life possible. She regularly encourages clean-living behaviors to the people she meets, and counsels, and can be a touch sanctimonious about it. Arilynn has just broken up with her secret lover of the past five years, Jacob, who is a holier-than-thou yogi with monogamy-averse ideas. (And good riddance!!!!)Officer Stone Petty is a cop with an anger problem, sent to Arilynn's 6-week anger management program for counseling after a brutality incident. (He beat up a domestic abuser he caught beating the heck out of his wife and child.) As it turns out, Stone is extremely sensitive to domestic abuse as an abuse survivor. He's also a meat-loving, fast food choking, dog-hating recent ex-smoker, and totally wrong for Arilynn--so why are they attracted to each other?This is low-conflict odd couple romance with lots of heart and some good heat. I really enjoyed the alternating POV, with the large swing in emotions. Stone has a lot of emotional scars, and he's quick to judge as a result. He is a big proponent of justice, and I liked his remorse regarding the incidents that led to his discipline. I think readers will find kinship with a man having a violent response to child/spousal abuse, even if he's a cop. Arilynn is a heroine with lofty ideals and down-to-earth solutions. She works hard to channel her frustrations with Stone, who is REALLY difficult to work with as a client. Setting her attraction aside, he's constantly challenging her and works hard to make her angry--so their interactions are always a lesson in patience. I rejoiced every time she got the better of him, in class and out of it. I also loved that Arilynn found a man who wanted to treat her right and never considered keeping her a secret, like Jacob had. They have some excellent passionate moments, and delicious sexytimes occur after they've been in contact daily for a few weeks. They start out, intentionally, to only be casual partners but it quickly turns into something far more.As this is a series read, we get some of Arilynn's pals in the mix, but thcharacter interactions are toned down from recent books. This allows for greater development of accessory characters, like Arilynn's busybody neighbor and her grandpa. Those two are a hoot! Oh, and don't forget the dogs! Stone has a bad history with dogs and is not best pleased that his anger management includes animal therapy--his experience will melt readers. Pinky is the best, BEST, medicine for his hardened heart.I really enjoyed this one.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Found By Laurie Oh I have loved each of the books in Jennifer Probst’s Searching Series for different reasons, but the common denominator was the friendship that these women shared. They were real, they were kind and they loved each other, not only unconditionally, but with the fierceness that was matched only by the men they welcomed into their lives.Searching for Always is Arilyn’s story. We get to understand how she became everything she is today. I had always written her off a bit loopy and maybe wasn’t too sure about her. But this book upended any of those impressions and served to remind me that one really doesn’t have any idea what is going on behind a person’s smile or for that matter, their frown. They could be struggling with something that may have brought them to their knees – you just don’t know. But it is a reminder to us that empathy in some way, shape or form goes a very long way. That doesn’t mean that Searching for Always is a sad story – nope. It is also a sweet romance between two people who bug the bejeezus out of one another.Under her calm demeanor, Arilyn was strong, passionate woman who not only loved her friends, but also her adorable grandfather. She gave so much of her time to everyone else and still tried to maintain her discipline to not only meditate daily, but also to eat clean. As much as I loved Kate, Kennedy and Gen, as I came to better understand Arilyn, she very quickly became my hero — Because as you get to know her, it is clear that all the things she does for others, feeds her soul.If Stone Petty grates on your nerves the way he does Arilyn’s – that means that Jennifer Probst has done her job really, really well. The reason that he ends up in Arilyn’s anger management group, is one that will win your heart. Under his curmudgeon exterior, Stone is an amazing man with a huge heart. I loved reading his transformation as his relationship with Arilyn grew into more than sparring partner.Arilyan and Stone together, were such a dynamic couple. Each had things from their pasts that they carried like a cross. They had preconceived notions of one another that as they discovered the reality; it became clear, (outside of their combustible sexual chemistry), just how perfect they were for one another.But for me, the star of Searching for Always is Robert. We met him in Searching for Someday and here we get to see even more of him as the sweet, loving dog that he is. If you are not familiar, Robert is actually a real life dog also known as a Rockin’ Robert. He has a capacity for love and forgiveness that we as humans can learn so much from. Robert is simply amazing.Once again, we get a glimpse inside the beauty that resides in Jennifer Probst’s heart. She serves to remind us how far empathy and love can get you in this world. Searching for Always shares that sentiment in so many ways.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. SWOON By Emma @ Book Angel Booktopia I was absolutely desperate for Arilyn story following how ingeniously Jennifer Probst laid the foundation in Searching for Beautiful.On the surface it would appear Arilyn and Stone are complete opposites, nothing in common apart from the uncanny ability to irritate the other. No matter the circumstances they just can't escape the way in which they each get under the others skin. Initially, putting it down to a clash of personalities and lifestyle but quickly realising it is in fact PASSION ;) Their interactions are hilarious to the outside observer; can I just quote Stone and his belief that Arilyn's anger management class is in fact 'psycho zen detention' LOL.Arilyn is an amazing character, but we haven't really got to know her independently from Kate and Kennedy in the series so far. While she may appear, for want of a better description, a goody two-shoes. There is so much more to Arilyn, the narrative slowly peels back the layers of both Arilyn and Stone. It is easy to identify with Arilyn, trying to look for the positive in people but having her foundation and worldview completely shaken by someone close to them being selfish and lying.Searching for Always dramatically depicts how life requires balance, how you aren't able to control everything around you and emotions are messy darn things. Arilyn and Stone have a yin/yang thing going on - she is the calm to his storm and vice-versa. Bringing the necessary balance to the other.I love the use of karma within this series; especially the way in which it gives you what you need as opposed to what you think you need.Both Arilyn and Stone have experienced more than their fair share of emotional trauma at a young age. Finding very different ways of coping with their issues. I adore how Arilyn was able to channel her negativity into something so positive.Who would have thought a chihuahua called Pinky with a sparkly pink collar would make such a difference to Stone's life :DThe friendships and support system in place within the series is truly wonderful to follow. The Searching For series shows that everyone has a reason for the way they are, both good and bad, you should always give someone the benefit of the doubt even when the Tree of Spite is involved ;) I loved seeing the characters from the previous books and how their individual stories have progressed - SWOONSearching for Always reinforces the soul-mate ideal - proving there is someone for everyone, giving hope to all us single folk :D
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